Ok, I've got to admit, I'm totally superficial. I think its in all of our nature, but it isn't helping me grow closer to the Lord. Lately I haven't been the best friend I can be to those who are deserving of my friendship. I haven't even been really focused lately. What's my deal? Who knows. I did some meditation, a little prayer too. Helped some, but I've been having these really selfish feelings of ONLY ME ME ME matters. It was nice this weekend to have others take care of my babies. People I didn't even really know were helping Trey when he approached them w/requests for "shoes off". Its been so long since a Non-blood relative has helped me with the boys. I need to learn to differenciate the kindness of others with kindness with motives.
Seeing mark after almost a year was interesting. He drains me. Its like being around the devil. Even his house is depressing, the color of the walls in that house, the old pictures...yuck. As always he made me feel like a cheap and dirty person. I was proud that I stood up for the kids and I through all his retarded and absurd requests and accusations. Usually I give in, cry, whatever it takes to appease him.
Long weekend, nice break, now I don't want to be here. I want everybody to leave me alone and let me make my decisions. I don't feel like I'm getting a whole lot of help right now. Oh well.
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2 comments:
I think it's good that he's in the past now. Don'tcha think?
Yeah it sounds like a much needed mini vacation....you sounded much better after you got back. Sometimes the best is just to get away for a lil bit.
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