...hmm...

Random Thoughts....free verse so it won't make any sense, just me talking and getting all off my chest.

So work is good. Gotta love it...get pd for over 8 hours and work under 8 hours, work is easy...gotta love it. Work is bad, I'm kind of bored, kind of scared. Divorce does a number on you & your credit. But a good opportunity to grow so we gotta focus on the light. Yeah, Divorce does a number on you, on your soul, on your credit, on your heart, on your spirit. Just when I think I'm up and going, I'm crushed back down. WHy, its all back to the divorce. Took Joshie to the soccer field and saw all the moms lounging in their soccer mom lawn chairs. I arrive, rushing and hair all crazy falling out of a bun, sweating in my hosery and heels from work. Spence would love to be out here too, but I can't do it by myself. There's a dad at the soccer field playing with his little boys. The boys listen to dad when its time to go, they're balanced and happy. My kids don't listen to me or let me sleep. ONce again, divorce crushing my spirit. I'm happy, god works his will in our lives and it is the best plan, even if we don't understand-it is perfect. I'm happy to be single again, just sucks to be so lonely. Sucks not to trust people. People really suck. I want to trust and feel at ease but I know I can't. This is god's plan for me. One day I'll understand. I wnat to smile again and really be happy. If the dad doesn't even want to participate in the little ones' lives then who else will even care. I care but I'm tired. I'm exhausted its too much for me. That saying being alone amongst people is so true. Nobody cares and life goes on. Life goes on.