I hear what you are screaming.
One of my favorite mottos..."if that which you seek you find not within you will never find it without"...
I went through a similar struggle when I became a mother. It started even before my son was born. I went from being the life of the party to the one who kicked everybody out at 10 so I could get to sleep. Slowly, my circle of friends got smaller and smaller. Once Trey was born I had to ask myself the same questions, is this a good influence in my son's life? How is this decision going to affect my son?
I am now divorced and although I know it is not the right thing according to biblical study, God's plan was, as it always is, PERFECT. I can relate to the best friend issue. My ex-husband who was my best friend didn't support my search for spiritual growth. He didn't put me down, but he knew how much I wanted to become closer to God, especially as a family. I can count on my right hand how many times we attend church on a non-holiday occassion in the 3 1/2 years of marriage. Of those times he didn't even sit inside during the whole service. Involved in the church...yeah right...Yep, this was my best friend. He and I remain great friends, but our values are different. I now see why it is important to be involved with somebody who has the same values and beliefs as yourself. We both grew up in very religous families but how we carried on beyond Sunday was like night & day. It wasn't until recently that I have been able to explore and grow in my spirituality. Just as I did as a new mother, when I became a Christian I had to re-evaluate EVERY aspect of my life. perhaps you can parrallel christianity with parenthood. CHildren often question things and it makes you think and re-evaluate every action because your baby is watching your every move. Think aobut it...God knows and is watching our every move. I have to answer my kids' every question, sooner or later we must answer to God.
As a Christian, single mother you can imagine what kind of a social life I have...none practically. You can imagine the amount of relationships I'm involved in, once again, practically none, but I wouldn't change it for the world!
My final thought...Thank you Tom for posting this. You have read that I have been struggling with some issues, particularly around a relationship. I needed to hear (or shall I say read) this.
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1 comment:
Wow I have never had a whole post for a comment. But yeah seriosuly I can see a change in several realtionships and I am infantile in the ways of Christ. As I am asking lots of questions and working them out.
But the relationship issue weather it be with family, friends, neighbors, strangers, or that significant other I have been seeking, its all about relationships these days. that's what is all comes down to.
The closer we draw in christ the more these relationships are going to change. I guess this is a part of the "breakin in" process. Wer are being broken of all past bonds and gaining a newer and more fulfilling one.
And on the Chritian and a mother, good luck, you already have one step higer than most do. You may not have the best relationship record it sounds, but these children are a gift to God and that relationship, well they may have very well been given to you to get closer to God.
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